You Are Both Heaven And Hell
Who we are as human beings is much more than what we show to the world, and it is much more than what we think about ourselves. Our lights and our shadows are part of the whole we belong to.
What are our shadows? Our shadows are our personal hell that we do not want to acknowledge in ourselves. That is what we insist on covering. Behaviors, thoughts and feelings that are inadequate, unacceptable and not accepted by us. All we learn in our culture that we cannot be is what we suppress and hold on to. That is what we judge and criticize others for.
We strive to show only a part of ourselves, which is a waste of energy, and it just ends up working against us.
The world does not just consist of light
We think that our strengths lie in showing off our friendliest and brightest side. To show a constant smile and an eternal will to be available to others.
Not all situations can be like that. In many circumstances it becomes impossible to express our sadness, our rage or discomfort, our anger and all the aspects that are social “negatives”.
But by suppressing these states which occur naturally and spontaneously in us and which are a response to a series of life experiences, we deny the expression of our being. This causes these aspects to acquire a greater intensity and ends up coming out in an inappropriate and disproportionate way.
An example: When we have chosen away a lot of discomfort and a situation occurs where we finally “explode”, everything that has built up is released into that situation, and directed at a person. When this happens, the consequences become unpleasant, and we are filled with guilt for having reacted in such an inappropriate way in the current situation.
To accept our shadows
In the phase of guilt, which is generated by our inappropriate expression of behavior that we actually reject, we tend to lock ourselves into that behavior with the intention of preventing it from manifesting itself again.
What we do not understand is that we are fueling the fire that makes us express ourselves in an inappropriate way in any situation.
If we can become aware of this process, we are in fact taking a step towards accepting our shadow. To move us away from not wanting to recognize that we are one, and that the shadow is a part of us.
For light to exist, it is necessary to also know our shadows, so that there can be a balance, and that we do not move from one extremity to another in our repertoire: neither when it comes to our thoughts, our emotions or our behavior.
Only by allowing yourself to be all that you are effortless and natural, can you feel whole. Accepting awakens our conscience and opens us up to the experience of discovering and loving ourselves as we are.
To combine opposites
This is the way our world is shaped: by combining opposites, the duality of everything and nothing, of life and death.
By accepting that we are made of these contradictions, we acknowledge everything that we avoid being and deny as part of the whole. We become more human, and experience that we gain understanding and respect for people who reject us.
We go from judging to understanding, both ourselves and those around us. And this results in an awakening of harmony and balance of opposites.
There is nothing good or bad. What exists is an integration of the poles, and a balance in these conditions.
When we are in conflict with one of our aspects, for example, by following the rule “I am a responsible person and can not afford to be anything other than that”, you must always be sure that you act in accordance with the. This ends up being exhausting, and there may come a time when it is inevitable to move the pendulum to the other extremity.
When we heal the conflict with one of our poles, we can move towards integration and balance, so that we do not fall out of proportion.
Amused by Amanda Cass
