White Lies, Forced Lies Or Pathological Lies?

There are few things that create as much mistrust as lying. Ask anyone, and they will tell you that no one likes to be a liar. However, some lies are socially acceptable. We call them white lies, and everyone uses them to some degree.

In a study from the University of Massachusetts, researchers showed that 60% of adults are unable to talk for more than ten minutes without telling a lie. What hurts worse is that they do it when they talk to someone they know. If there is a conversation between strangers, it increases to three lies during the first ten minutes.

White lies, coercive lies and pathological lies

It is an unpleasant truth that humans seem to be born liars. The mentioned study was conducted before social media was invented. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and other apps have probably helped make these numbers even higher. After all, they give us more chances to lie and the lies reach an even greater number of lies.

Many blame digital media and fake news. Although they may be partly responsible, we know for sure that they reinforce the human tendency to lie. Psychologist Paul Ekman, an expert on facial expressions, argues that lying is one of the central features of human life.

White lies

Almost as soon as children begin to speak, they begin to use language in a deceptive way. They start at the age of two to three years with very simple lies. At the age of four, they can come up with much more sophisticated lies. This may seem like a negative thing, but psychologists say that these abilities are a sign of social intelligence.

Telling white lies is natural for children (and adults, for that matter). They are not relatively offensive and people usually tell them to protect their own and others’ feelings. You could say that little white lies are like the oil that helps society’s gears go smoothly.

Truth and lies

Everyone lies, which means you can not distinguish between people based on whether they tell the truth or not. Instead, we distinguish between what kind of lies people tell. From saying “I’m fine” when in fact you’re awful, to inventing an excuse to be late, to a cruel and selfish lie, people turn to a whole range of lies.

Some argue that the need to meet the expectations of others is what motivates people to lie, not to mention that this society is full of contradictions. You tell children not to lie, but you also tell them to pretend to be excited about their grandmother’s gift even though they do not like it.

Society would probably have collapsed if we could not trust that the people around us are not lying. However, the same thing could have happened if everyone had told the truth.

Coercive lies

Some people embellish their lives with an infinite number of anecdotes, facts or stories that are either embellished or completely untrue.

People who do this are completely dependent on their own fictional stories because they are very insecure. Usually the only people who are hurt by forced liars are the liars themselves.

Pathological lies

These types of lies are the most vicious. They are cold and calculated, and people who tell them have specific goals and interests, usually selfish. They are manipulative and cunning. Pathological liars base their lies around their frauds. Unlike white lies and coercive lies, they affect other people in a negative way. Pathological liars can hurt their victims deeply.

Studies show that pathological liars have more white matter in the prefrontal area of ​​the brain. In general, white matter is associated with faster connections, greater verbal flow, and faster thought processes. People with more white matter also have problems with empathy and little activity in the areas of the brain related to emotions.

Most people do not like to lie. We tell white lies to protect ourselves or others. At least that’s what we like to believe. Ultimately, each of us must deal with our own internal debate about whether we should tell the truth and decide which choice makes the most sense in the situation.