When You Are Trapped In An Emotionless Emotional Age

Lack of love is something that really leaves a mark, especially at certain ages. But sometimes it has such an impact that you end up getting caught up in something called an emotionless emotional age. In other words, the lack of emotion and love will prevent you from developing, and you will not be able to move on until the wounds heal.

The term “maturity” is basically just a concept. In a practical sense, we all have many different ages in us. Some of them stand out more, but the others are also there. It is very lucky for us, because it helps us to enjoy things with childlike joy while we work our way through problems with adult wisdom.

But there are also certain circumstances that can leave you at a certain age. You are usually bound to an emotionless emotional age if you do nothing about the problem.

It may even have its roots in your early childhood. If that is the case, even if you are a good adult, you may have the same emotional age as the frightened, injured child you used to be.

Emotionless emotional age: The first

When you are young, just about any experience will have a big impact on you. It is a part of life that lays the foundation for who you are and who you should be. That does not mean you still do not need affection later. It just means that it is absolutely necessary in the earliest years.

When a 1-2 year old child does not get love, the first thing they lose is their trust.  Children always expect their parents, or the caregiver, to take care of their needs.

But sometimes it does not happen, or it does – but together with rejection and aggression. This will probably make it difficult for the child to trust people from then on. It can even make it difficult for them to trust themselves.

Lack of devotion, autonomy and independence

Around 2-3 years of age, children usually start on the path to autonomy. The biggest part of this age is potty training.

During these years, loving parents or guardians will promote autonomy with love and without pressure. They will not demand anything from their child that is outside their level of development and learning abilities.

Nor will they diminish the child’s progress by doing things for them when they can do them alone. Love should never lead to addiction, and autonomy should never lead to abandonment.

Children usually stay on this path to independence from 3 to 6 years, although there is never any exact age or date when it comes to human development. Still, this is always the age when they really start exploring the world.

When a child is loved, they will embark on this journey without fear. If they are not, they will probably feel uncomfortable and scared, even if there is nothing scary or dangerous out there.

When they are old enough to start school, children will develop a love of work and efficiency. That is, if they have a loving support system. If they do not have it, they will do their schoolwork with a sense of inferiority.

Effects in adulthood

Usually, you realize that you are trapped in an emotionless emotional age when you see certain personality traits as an adult  and do not really know where they came from. You are usually not able to change yourself either, even when you are convinced it is necessary. Some characteristics include:

• Uncertainty, inertia, fear.
• Problems confirming yourself, knowing what you want, and expressing how you feel.
• Hard to set goals and go after them because you have more fear than hope.
• Passivity in all areas of life, including your love life.
• Not able to enjoy things.

So what can you do? It is usually possible to heal a wound caused by a lack of love. But it will not only heal itself either; you really have to work for it. It is a good idea to look for ways to help the numb child to openly express himself. Give this inner child room to talk and say how it feels, whether you are writing it down or talking about it with a therapist.