The Consequence Of Having An Absent Mother
We need our mother’s warmth, attention and love more than almost anything else in our lives. There are not many things we need more than that. Think: Your first big fear is to lose her and not have her there when you need her. If you have an absent mother, there is nothing in the world that can make up for it.
In the early moments of your life, you follow everything she does. However, if she criticizes you harshly or neglects you, you will forgive her. In those situations, you probably do not even dare ask questions about what she did. In fact, you are more likely to blame yourself for making her angry. The reason for this is that what you fear most when you are little is that she will leave you.
No matter how available a mother is, there will always be times when she needs to be away. She can not help and sometimes leaves you even if it is not a long time. In our early childhood, we are not aware of time, and we do not know if she will ever return. Little by little, you learn to deal with these short hours of absence, even if it’s scary.
If for some reason your mother is absent most of the time, it can be felt as a wound in your heart. This will never be cured. If your mother is completely absent, the emotional damage will be so severe that it will have terrible consequences. This is especially true if it is in the first six years of your life.
An absent mother
Some people feel fear when they have to be alone even as an adult. For example, if no one is home, they may become anxious and feel suffocated. These people can also be extremely charming. They have learned that they must “be good” and always act as others expect them to. But when they are alone, they feel like scared children.
An absent mother is also sometimes the cause of sleep and eating disorders. Maybe she wanted her baby to eat and sleep, so she manipulated them by not being there all the time. It’s like they make her pay back debt, even though they are the ones who really end up paying in the end.
A mother who is absent a lot and for long periods can give the child extreme anxiety problems. They will be scared when she leaves and when she returns, because they do not know how long she will be around.
Some mothers use this fear to “control” their children. They threaten to leave their children if they do not listen. However, the child can not get away, even if it does not have a good mother.
The consequences of having an absent mother
Children who have an absent mother develop certain typical behavioral habits towards her: protesting, desperation and distancing. The fact that she is absent does not make the children feel more affectionate; it makes their emotions uncontrollable.
In the end, their only choice is to block their feelings of love. Some children end up creating a hatred for her. This is because of this vicious cycle of loving and losing again and again.
An absent mother can create distant, angry and sad children. Little by little, and with their souls in rebellion, they learn that they must go out into the world alone.
This is a dangerous situation for children. To survive, they sometimes put on masks: kind and obedient, like neighborhood bullies, like insensitive… When they are adults, it is difficult for them to know what is hiding behind the false personality they created to deal with the situation.
What children really lose when they have an absent mother is their trust in other people. As well as their hope that someone will respond to their needs, or possibly just love them. Because of this, they are often completely dependent on the people they love as adults. But the conditions usually do not last.
They can be skeptical of relationships and demand too much of them. What an absent mother leaves behind is a person who has not learned anything other than how to build relationships that are filled with anger, anxiety and above all mistrust.
