Nobody Heals Themselves By Harming Others
No victim heals himself by projecting his pain on others, much less by projecting it on those he loves. However, it is possible for us to have found ourselves in this situation despite not wanting it or not even noticing it to begin with.
It is very sad to feel bad, but it is even sadder to realize that we, as if it were a defense mechanism, protect ourselves by using a twisted instrument: to put tension on our relationships with others. To project the frustration and pain that we carry inside us on them, because we believe that no matter what happens, they will forgive us.
Think about it: do you not feel bad for pushing someone out of your life as a result of an emotional block from which you did not escape? Or is it not true that someone has hurt you so much at one point that you put up walls against anyone who might have deserved a chance?
Our heart is one of our most valuable organs, and we understand it as the representation of our emotional center, the emotional companion we must cherish most. Therefore, it is not healthy to close your heart, because if you do this, in addition to letting in the cold, you will only be able to offer cold. If we suffer, we must heal. If we do not let that happen, we will harm those around us.
The healing process that takes place in us
When we explode outward in one way or another, we do so not as a result of an external provocation, but rather because a wound within us bursts. Imagine that we fall, we hurt ourselves, and we leave it, without cleaning or covering the wound. What happens then?
First of all, it can get infected, which requires a lot more work to fix. Or someone could walk past us and come upon us without meaning to. In this case, it would hurt and we would react negatively to the person who touched us. Despite the fact that the problem is not the person who affected us, but rather our lack of care for our wound when we should have done so.
The heart needs to accept the situation that makes it uncomfortable, and most of the healing process is about understanding the solutions that allow it to overcome what makes it suffer. Stopping to reflect on the situation we want to leave behind requires great effort and sacrifice on our part. By not dedicating ourselves to this, it may seem like the situation is over, but in reality it will remain there and it will not let us move on.
Nobody wants to see us this way. Why pay for it with others?
Theoretically, it would be great for everyone if each of us could keep this idea in mind: If the people in my life are there, it’s because they love me and are happy to see me do well; it is not right to pay them back with my bad mood or to try to fix what is bothering me at their expense.
In honor of the beloved author of The Little Prince, we want to return to a premise he left behind throughout his work: although the most important reaction of an animal, including man, is to set up a defense barrier after becoming hurt by another, not all people will hurt us, nor can we blame them for what happens in our lives.
By refusing to establish new relationships or by setting up walls with those closest to us, we will not be able to heal ourselves, nor will we prevent everything that bothered us again. It is also not useful to be against those who help us, or to hide the problem in order to convince ourselves that it no longer exists. Ask yourself: could this be happening to you?
Pamper yourself! We deserve it
If the answer to the previous question is indecisive or yes, you need to prepare yourself to really pamper yourself. Only by taking care of yourself, by giving yourself a second chance, listening to yourself, valuing yourself and loving yourself, can you lead a happy life full of harmony with others.
We deserve to learn to say “no” when necessary. We must teach our heart to make mistakes, to hit the bottom and get out of it, because that is what creates emotional balance: to regulate the good and bad experiences we have. Try to change the main rule: If we care about others, we will take care of ourselves, but we must never stop taking care of ourselves.
Hurting others because someone hurts us is bad behavior that does not solve anything. Remember that a heart that does not know what to do with its pain and that attacks others instead of healing, will only end up hurting itself more.
