Grieving Over A Pet: The Loss Of A Four-legged Friend

No one teaches you how to deal with grief over a pet. Nor do they teach you how to say goodbye to someone who was a member of the family. A dog is not just a dog. You can not just replace your cat with a new one. Each animal has a special place in your life, a small corner full of memories, cute routines, and a look you will never forget.

Just a few months ago, we were surprised to read an article on this topic. Variety  magazine  published an article about Barbara Streisand and how she cloned her dog. Streisand felt she was unable to cope with the loss of her pet Samantha, so she decided to have her cloned the year before. Before the dog died, she was given a clinic to extract cells. A few months later she had two clones of her Coton de Tulear.

Today, the singer says that she is waiting for the puppies to grow up to see if they have the same calm, intelligent dispositions as Samantha. Of course, everyone has the right to do what they want with their money. Still, we have to ask ourselves, is this the best way to get over a loss?

No one, neither animals nor humans, should enter this world just to be a copy of someone who is no longer here. Each person is unique and unique. Trying to repeat the same life story makes no sense. Not only that, but it brings up some complex medical and ethical dilemmas.

That being said, what we are trying to get across is that grieving over a pet can actually be done in a healthy and helpful way. It will take strategies to accept the loss, little by little, with courage and responsibility.

Grief over a pet in a culture so insensitive to animals

The loss of a pet is often paradoxical. If you lose a family member, you can request a few days off from work. If you lose a pet, you do not necessarily have the same rights. For many people, the loss is still quite traumatic. In fact, trauma is often exacerbated by the insensitivity of others. You hear things like, “but it was just a dog,” or “you will feel better if you just get a new one.”

There is another problem with pets that comes up often, but that no one talks much about. It is a question of who keeps pets in cases of divorce or separation. It is such a serious problem that the courts often make the decision. In this case, the party who does not receive custody also ends up grieving over a pet.

Interestingly, “pet care counselors” are becoming more common in the Western world. There are psychologists who specialize in human / animal relationships and the transitions that take place in these relationships. The help they offer focuses on facilitating the grieving process by following these steps:

Step one: Do not feel guilty

Something many pet owners experience when their pet dies is a sense of guilt. They have the idea in their minds that they could have done more for them. Another element that affects grief is the issue of euthanasia. The goal of euthanasia is to free an animal from suffering, but it can lead to complex emotions in those who make the decision.

So it is extremely important to banish any shadow of guilt from your mind. Be with your pet at the last minute and know that you can do nothing more for it. Let it go with love and affection.

Step two: respect that everyone handles losses in different ways

Each member of the household will deal with the grief of a pet in their own way. Understanding this and being supportive is extremely important. In the same way , it is important to be aware of how children and the elderly process the loss.

This may be the first time the children have to deal with a loss. Answer any questions they may have. Be genuine and honest. Because, ultimately, the fact that they are small does not mean that their grief is less intense. Losing a pet tends to be more traumatic for the elderly. Pets play an important role in their daily lives, and it can therefore be more difficult to take into account the absence of the pet.

Step three: change routines

Animals take up space in our homes, but also in our routines. They greet us enthusiastically when we get home and keep us company on the couch or in bed. They are a lively presence, begging for food or a walk at a certain time of the day… Grief over a pet means facing the absence of these small interactions every day.

Being aware of the change can be a way to make it easier to deal with it. Another strategy is to create new or change other habits and routines to deal with grief.

Step four: you can not just replace the old pet with a new one

Let us return to the situation of Barbara Streisand. It does not make sense to replace one pet with another. To expect this new pet to have the same character, demeanor and personality as the old one is unrealistic.

Each animal is unique and it is important to give yourself time to mourn. You need to accept the death of your pet and keep your memories in a special place in your heart. Later, if you feel like it, you can open the door for another animal. In short, getting another pet right away is not the best way to take care of the pet that is no longer with you.

To conclude, the loss and grief of a pet can be difficult to deal with and involves intense emotions. Some feel alone and misunderstood in their suffering. After all, they are not saying goodbye to just one pet. These animals were a big part of their lives. So, if you need help dealing with the loss of a pet, do not hesitate to ask for help. That way, you can remember all the good times you shared, and move on.