Everyone Loves A Sincere “How Are You? “

A “how are you?” accompanied by a sincere smile and a pleasant look is therapeutic. Sometimes that’s all you need.

Sometimes these four words are enough to make you feel safe and connected to another person. To feel welcome. To know that everything will be fine.

Evolutionary psychology, as strange as it may seem, has much to say on the subject. The idea is that people developed social intelligence by promoting the care and protection of members of their group. Therefore, any group member who was “false” and did not cooperate or support the group was rejected.

Archaeological and ethnographic evidence also shows us that peaceful co-operation and altruism were common in the early years of agriculture. This is probably what contributed to the species’ advancement.

In fact, there is evidence that Neanderthals cared for their elders with great care. They honored them without expecting anything in return, and later performed funeral ceremonies that clearly demonstrated emotional and religious symbolism.

All of this clearly shows that caring for others and caring for them is part of what makes our species what it is. Any tasks that are aimed at providing help, support or attention, positively affect our physical and psychological well-being.

It helps us survive and connect with each other in a meaningful way.

It is therefore a sincere “how are you?”, Whether it is face to face or not, can do so much more than we ever thought.

I’m here to help you: I’m here for you, and I do not want to ask anything in return

David Graeber is a famous anthropologist famous for his social activism. One of his theories focuses on the way money and the economy completely destroy our primal altruism.

He says that it has destroyed our “gene” to promote unity, to promote this important union between human groups that allows us to survive in harmony.

To support his idea, Graeber talks about the Inuit from Greenland or Iroquois. He explains that there was always a sincere concern for each other in these communities.

And in fact, the idea of ​​repaying a service did not exist. As the Inuit say, “in our country we are human and we care about each other. ” If anyone needs shoes, they just need to ask. If a hunter had a bad day, the neighbors would share the food with him.

Both in the past and (in some places) in the present, there are groups of people who base their interactions on altruism and concern for others.

It is a sincere desire to break out of the bubble of the ego and appreciate the other as part of oneself. It sounds like something we should put to use in our so-called “advanced” societies.

A “how are you?” which goes beyond courtesy

It’s true, we all hear “how are you?” on a daily basis. Most of the time people say that and do not even wait for an answer.

It’s just a way to start a dialogue or greet someone. We do not expect honesty, because it is only a formal part of our culture.

In this “container culture,” as Eduardo Galeano would put it, we seem to have forgotten the principle of humanity that the Inuit and Iroquois still remember. More than just shoes, more than a dinner or warm clothes, what people need is support, understanding, attention.

We need sincere words and people who are genuinely concerned about us. We want there to be silence after a “how are you?”, So that we have time to answer and open our ears at the other end.

Before we conclude, we need to clarify one thing. We do not have to go through tough times to feel the therapeutic effect of a “How are you?”

The simple expression has the power to make us happy and feel connected to each other. Let us give this sentence greater meaning and authenticity.

Let’s not neglect each other. No more of just politeness – instead, let’s learn the art of understanding, acknowledging and reciprocity. Let’s give an authentic “how are you?” weekday.