Elusive Partners: How To Deal With Them

Have you ever had a partner who seemed very interested in you, but with whom it was impossible to maintain a committed relationship? This is because they were suspicious, insecure, emotionally cold and annoyed most of the time and did not know how to deal with their emotions. In that case, they probably had an evasive personality. In fact, evasive partners cause all kinds of problems.

We are all capable of demonstrating some form of relationship uncertainty. However, when you meet someone who is clearly evasive, suspicious and even over-alert, you may have to deal with someone with an evasive personality disorder. Such people can have an extremely negative impact on both you and your environment.

They do not confirm emotions. Furthermore, they set boundaries and destroy partnerships. Also, when there are problems in the relationship, they distance themselves. This type of cold leads to painful experiences. As remarkable as this personality type may seem, it actually affects between three and five percent of the population.

Characteristics of elusive partners

If you are looking for a partner to establish a good emotional connection with, it is best not to choose someone like this. Because the evasive personality type is better suited for a partner who is very independent and does not really want any significant kind of attachment.

But most people want committed, loving, enriching bonds. However, some with an evasive personality find it extremely difficult to develop healthy relationships. Furthermore, the people who play the “I love you / I do not love you, I need you / I do not need you” game. This can be annoying.

Below you will discover the characteristics of an elusive personality.

How to identify evasive partners

When we talk about an elusive personality, we do not just mean someone who avoids you. In fact, it is much more complex. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) describes it as an elusive personality disorder.

Studies conducted at the Free University of Berlin suggest that people with this disorder show marked anxiety, social inhibition, indecision and feelings of inadequacy and hypersensitivity. These are stable traits that have a genetic basis.

This can affect relationships, as evasive partners:

• Am too worried about rejection. This makes them both suspicious and sensitive.
• Gets easily injured. In fact, to the point that their partner does not know how to behave to avoid disturbing them.

• Never fully commit. Furthermore, they do not open up to intimacy.
• Do not like new or unexpected situations. For example, they will not meet the partner’s family. In addition, they just like to do routine activities.
• Does not take risks. For this reason, they will never do anything particularly daring or remarkable to their partner.
• Do not know how to come to an agreement. Therefore, if they disagree with the partner, they see it as a threat and become even more evasive.
• Will not validate emotions. In fact, if the partner expresses his feelings towards them, they will rarely reciprocate.

How to deal with this type of relationship

Avoiding partners in a relationship causes suffering. It’s clear. But does this mean you should just leave them?

The truth is that it is always a good idea to give the person a chance. You can take a clear strategy to do this. If you do not see any progress and are dissatisfied after a while, you can decide what to do.

These are the strategies you can use when working with an evasive partner.

Ask them to seek professional help

In many cases, an evasive personality disorder is caused by a traumatic childhood, depression or anxiety. Therefore, it is important for your partner to seek professional help.

Suffering, surveillance, emotional insecurity and fear of rejection and criticism characterize them. Thus, psychological help will allow them to reach a state where they feel better about themselves, which will allow them to establish healthier emotional relationships.

Make it clear that their behavior has consequences

Evasive behavior and “I need you today, but not tomorrow” attitude are not acceptable in a relationship. They need to realize that their behavior creates a lot of emptiness in the relationship. Doubt, mistrust, emotional distance and poor emotional handling are hurtful. No one should have to tolerate this disorder. For this reason, they must realize that their behavior can ultimately ruin the relationship.

Consequently, they must begin to act differently. In fact, if they are able to demonstrate changes in their behavior, there may still be a chance for their relationship.

However, everyone has a limit. If all you get out of the relationship is anguish and pain, it’s better to end it. Nevertheless, you should always give them the chance to seek professional help first.