Constructive Pain: It Teaches And Connects People

There are two types of pain. One that makes you turn inward, that causes trauma and keeps wounds open. But constructive pain is the type of pain that teaches you and gives you the opportunity to connect better with other people. It also makes you more sensitive to other people’s suffering.

Dante said that a person who feels pain knows everything. But does that mean we are forced to suffer if we really want to understand life? Not exactly.

“If I could choose between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain.”

-William Faulkner-

The first thing to keep in mind is that pain comes from your brain. After receiving safe signals from the environment, the body and the senses, the brain interprets them and immediately decides whether to produce the feeling of pain. It’s like a panic button, which is pressed when you feel that something or someone is threatening your physical or mental well-being.

But then comes the most interesting part: every pain signal you feel and perceive has a purpose. We call it constructive pain for a reason. It’s a warning signal, so do not ignore it. When you put your hand in the fire, the brain will send a signal of intense pain. But when you take it out, the brain will immediately send a variety of chemicals to relieve the feeling of pain.

In fact, it’s almost exactly the same thing that happens on an emotional level. When you experience something traumatic, your brain will interpret it just like when you burn yourself. Pain requires a reaction. To act, pull your hand away from the fire. The experience we are left with is one we will never forget.

Constructive pain and happiness

It was Aldous Huxley who showed us how living in a state of eternal pleasure can lead to a dystopian society. You can read about it yourself in ” Wonderful New World “. Although the idea of ​​endless pleasure sounds good, the reality is usually different. To some extent, we can say that people need to experience a certain amount of pain as a contrast to pleasure.

For example, there are not many things that are as comfortable as coming home after a cold winter day and drinking hot cocoa. Athletes also feel euphoria after an intense physical exertion. During exertion, endorphins and other endogenous opiates come together to relieve physical exertion.

So if we say that pain can actually increase the feeling of pleasure and happiness, it is not a contradiction. There are many studies on the subject, as one in the “Personality and Social Psychology Review”. They explain how suffering, short-lived and properly processed, gives us the feeling of pleasure and keeps us connected to the world around us.

For example, think of times in your life when you have been strong. Times where you have no choice but to be brave. It may have been illness, loss, or perhaps the worst disappointment in your life.

Overcoming the difficult part of the internal and sometimes heartbreaking journey strengthened your psychological muscles. Thanks to your inner strength, you now feel freer and better equipped to create and enjoy your own happiness.

Constructive pain: controlling it and changing it

In the beginning we talked about how emotional suffering is interpreted by the brain as that we have burned ourselves. It is not our own idea, or just a metaphor. In fact, it was proven in a study published in the ” Proceedings of the National Academy of Science”.

Neurological research tells us that when someone says something like “the pain is in your head “, they are not mistaken. This is really because it is a very complex structure, called the anterior cingulate cortex. It does not differentiate between mental and mental pain. They are the same for this part of the brain. And that’s why emotional pain can be so devastating.

But if suffering is in our head, can we “turn it off”? The first thing most people think of is pills. Well, remember that neither painkillers nor antidepressants are the answer. All they do is numb the pain in the cingulate cortex, but they will never fix the underlying emotional problem.

Pain does not forget, it is a cry for help. It’s like a lighthouse warning that there’s a reef here, so you do not drift into it. If you decide to hide in the hole as a stowaway, you will not solve the problem. The insert will still be there.

So the only option is to change direction, raise the sails and take the helm of your life.

Then you can look for calmer waters, better currents and tailwinds.

References

Here you can read about the  Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Here you can find the journal  Personality and Social Psychology Review.