A Good Self-esteem Comes From A Job Well Done

If there is one thing that superiorly affects our behavior, it is our self-esteem. How we feel, based on the image we have of ourselves, determines the goals we set for ourselves. But it also affects our relationships with others and the intensity of our emotions. Since this is so important, it might not be so silly to know a little more about how to achieve a good self-esteem?

A good self-esteem is often based on a job well done. It’s not like a lottery where we might be lucky and win. No, our self-esteem is the fruit of our own efforts. If we want significant results, we must therefore understand that it involves a process and that that process can be very time-consuming.

Self-esteem is one of the pillars that form the human personality. In 2009, Abraham Maslow said that we need the respect and admiration that is born within ourselves in the form of self-esteem. He also said that we need it from others, in terms of status, recognition or social success.

When we lack self-esteem, we feel helpless, discouraged and less valuable than others. We do not trust our own ability to handle things. We often waste our own efforts and constantly try to compare ourselves with others. We try to balance out our personality by focusing our thoughts and actions.

To create our own perception of ourselves

If we look at it as an attitude (Garcia, Cermeno and Fernandez, 1991), self-esteem is the way we can create our own perception of ourselves. We use it to judge how we think and feel about ourselves. It has an impact on the way we treat ourselves and can have major consequences for how we handle and evaluate our own identity.

But, in order to talk about the cognitive components that are part of self-esteem, we must distinguish between what is understood as self-esteem and what is understood as a “self-concept”.

A self-concept is defined as the idea we have of ourselves in the cognitive, perceptual and affective dimension. A self-concept should therefore be associated with the way a person presents himself.

Self-esteem, on the other hand, is understood as the positive or negative assessment a person makes of themselves and their own self-concept. This includes feelings they associate with themselves and other people’s attitudes towards them.

A good self-esteem comes with time

Having dreams and goals you want to achieve is very closely linked to well-being and mental health. Setting goals for oneself in a positive way also affects other areas of our lives and allows us to control important psychological aspects, such as self-confidence and motivation.

One of the main causes of, and also an important symptom of depression, is the loss of hope and interest in ambitions and goals. Dr. Ellis says that problems related to self-esteem arise in a certain mindset. It can be irrational, illogical or self-destructive.

Sometimes our way of thinking consists of illogical phrases that undermine our self-esteem. Some of these generic and irrational perceptions are:

• The idea that we must be competent and efficient in all areas.
• The idea that everyone must like us and that we must get a kind of approval from the most important people in our vicinity.
• That things that have happened in our past determine the way we behave now, but also in the future because they have a definite impact on us and may happen again.
• That it is easier to avoid problems and responsibilities than to confront them.

• That human misfortune always has external causes, which we have very little opportunity to influence, and that we have almost no way to avoid or control the pain it inflicts on us.

Changing our self-esteem is not easy. Self-esteem is dynamic and sensitive in nature and reworking it so that it benefits us is no easy task. It is the result of a series of actions, habits and abilities. It is something you acquire over time.

Having low self-esteem is like driving through life with the brakes on

Our past, what we have left behind and what lies ahead, is no more important than what we walk around and carry inside us. Nor is it more important than our own perception of what we carry with us or how we define ourselves. Our quality of life is affected by our self-esteem and it also involves how each person sees and values ​​themselves, with the result that it controls our behavior within the family and in social circles.

Poor or good self-esteem characterizes our relationships with others and is reflected in our social lives as well as the qualities we use to deal with various challenges in life.

To sum up, we can say that having low self-esteem makes us feel incompetent. We quickly end up in a negative circle with self-destructive mechanisms such as negative emotions, obsessions and misconceptions. This has a negative impact on how we understand and interpret the thoughts and feelings of others. It makes us less functional and less precise in our interactions with other people.