Tell Me What You Think About Others, And I’ll Tell You Who You Are
What you think about others and the way you look at them can say a lot about your own character and personality. According to the ” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology “ , feel people who judge others as honest, kind and stable, greater satisfaction in life.
On the other hand, those who have negative opinions about their peers are precisely the most antisocial, narcissistic and unpleasant.
In this study, it has also been proven that people who evaluate their partner positively are less likely to have depression and anxiety disorders.
On the contrary, people who are overly critical of others are more prone to personality disorders, especially paranoid or antisocial disorders.
In particular, in paranoid personality disorder, the main symptom is a pattern of mistrust and general suspicion of others, an interpretation of their intentions as malicious. Therefore, they interpret neutral or positive messages as insults, teasing, derogatory, etc.
When in doubt about another person’s intent, a paranoid person will choose the most unfavorable option. It is one who takes what the other has done or said as an attack.
Apart from personality disorders , there are always people who go through life by criticizing everything and everyone. In all our lives, there are some who believe that the world is full of bad people.
According to this study, whether they are right or not, these thoughts are unlikely to contribute to their happiness. Rather, it would be natural for them to be evasive and suspicious.
We are mirrors
Our exterior acts as a mirror for our mind. In it we see different qualities or aspects of ourselves that are reflected back.
When we observe something we do not like about someone, and we feel rejected, that aspect can somehow be an aspect that we find in ourselves. Moreover, this rejection can only be a reflection of the rejection we ourselves feel for something inside us.
It is also possible that our unconscious side, supported by projection, leads us to believe that the defect only exists “outside” in the other person. Psychological projection is a defense mechanism that a person attributes to other emotions, thoughts or impulses that they deny or find unacceptable.
This mechanism is set in motion in situations of emotional conflict or when we feel threatened inside or outside. To alleviate our inner discomfort, we focus on the outside: all qualities we do not accept. We assign them to something outside of ourselves.
In this way, our thoughts seem to be able to move these threatening contents out and fight them in the real world.
Much of what bothers you about other people is just projection
The inner world tends to color the outer world with its own characteristics. For example, if you are very happy, you will probably see the world with optimism and joy. You will probably say things like, “today is a wonderful day”, “what a beautiful day”.
Obviously, the day is not entirely wonderful or beautiful. Instead, these qualities are very subjective and we are the ones who bring them forward. The projection process is built into human mental function, and helps us to feel and humanize the world.
Very often the things we find difficult in others are precisely the things we have not solved in ourselves. Because if we had, it would never be a chronic problem.
In these cases , accepting our problems and meditating will help us know ourselves better. It will teach us to consider more than one perspective before drawing hasty conclusions.
Main picture: Kristin Vestgård
