Emotional Intelligence In Older People

Recent studies show that emotional intelligence in older people is usually higher than in younger people. They value their relationships and take care of them. Older people know how to appreciate the present. They adjust their emotions to match what is happening around them, so that they can enjoy every moment to the fullest. Older people have a relaxed and optimistic perspective.

The results of this study from the University of Texas and the University of California, Berkeley, may surprise you. These days, we tend to have a rather negative view of both the elderly and the aging process. We associate getting older with physical decline and reduced cognitive abilities. When we think of aging, we inevitably think of misfortune, low motivation and social / emotional isolation. In other words, we are thinking of losses.

Experience teaches you to control your emotions

Reaching this stage of life in good health is obviously important to be able to face aging with optimism. The fewer restrictions, the more opportunities and more freedom you will have. Personality and circumstances also play a role, of course. It is also quite clear that the attitude you encounter every day with will depend a lot on how you have lived your life so far and what opportunities you have had.

What these studies point out is that people’s ability to deal with their own emotions and recognize others’ emotions increases on average after 60 years.

This is not a hard and simple rule. This does not mean that everyone’s emotional intelligence improves over time. This means that experience helps most people to learn to deal with their emotions. With time and experience, they can prioritize their relationships with others.

Emotional intelligence in the elderly

Being older or being a person over 60 is not synonymous with loneliness, dissatisfaction and decline. It neither is, nor has it been for more than a decade. Life expectancy reaches 80 years, which means that to be 60 practically is to be young again. When you turn 70, you are in a stage of mature rest. With life expectancy so high, we see older people being more active than ever.

Older people today participate in many activities in their communities. They travel, hang out with their friends and take care of their grandchildren. They are a source of constant and almost indispensable support for their children. Many seniors also suffer from physical ailments or the loss of loved ones. However, most seniors demonstrate very sophisticated emotional skills.

How do they do it? They have to deal with their own physical decline, health problems, money and social problems… So how can the elderly maintain such a high level of emotional well-being? The Journal of Gerontology  at Oxford University explains the following:

Theories that explain the increase in emotional intelligence in older adults

Here are some of the hypotheses that may explain the sense of fulfillment we see in many older adults:

Socio-emotional selectivity

• Emotional intelligence in older adults can be explained by the theory of socio-emotional selectivity. There comes a moment when you realize that your life will change soon. This idea, this personal and existential reality, makes you focus your behavior on emotionally pleasurable experiences. You no longer care about a future reward. You want to enjoy life here and now. Long-term plans are starting to mean less and less.

Dynamic integration

• The dynamic integration theory suggests another explanation. Aging makes people realize, little by little, how their physical and cognitive abilities are reduced. They are not as smart as before, they live with hip pain, diabetes, arthritis, etc. When faced with a reality they can not change, older people choose positive emotions for their own balance and happiness. After all, emotions are something you can control.
• Experiences create the emotional intelligence of older adults. Time has taught them how to better control certain emotional situations. They understand how emotions work, they can handle them better, and they are better at recognizing the needs of others.

• Another interesting and revealing aspect of all this is called the “positive effect”. There are people who put their experiences on a balance sheet and decide to keep those who make them happiest. This is like a personal filter that helps you focus on the positive. It allows you to make significant connections with others and see everything through an optimistic lens.

To promote an emotionally intelligent and positive maturity

Good emotional intelligence in the elderly translates into a better quality of life. In addition, it also helps your physical health. Good emotional control reduces stress and depression. It helps with all the daily challenges of being an older adult: loss, illness, being dependent on others, etc.…

Remember that emotional intelligence does not come automatically. It does not only appear when you reach a certain age. Not everyone knows what it is. Or, if you know what it is, you may not be using it most effectively. Thus, it would be interesting and perhaps beneficial for local communities to offer emotional intelligence programs for the elderly.

These can be interdisciplinary programs that will assess each individual story and context. Aging is sometimes accompanied by a kind of personal crisis. Lack of motivation and depression can be overwhelming. Helping our seniors develop empathy, emotional control, and social skills will make it easier for them.

Finally, we believe that emotional intelligence in the elderly (and everyone else) is the key to good health. This is what enables the elderly to live a more fulfilling and happy life. After all, life expectancy is increasing every day. We have the right to the best resources that will help us live our lives to the fullest.