To Want To Feel Important And Admired By Others

We all want others to believe that we are special and important. This has nothing to do with being narcissistic or self-centered. In fact, it is a perfectly legitimate and even healthy desire. However, wanting to feel important is different from being important. Some people actually feel frustrated at not being important enough, and consider themselves ordinary and not special.

The problem is not the desire to receive recognition, arouse admiration or be important to others. Many times it is not about wanting to feel important in itself, but what we understand as “important”. In other words, we all have our individual concept of what it is to be special to others. In addition, we also have our own expectations when it comes to other people’s opinions about us.

People talk about “being someone” and “being a zero”. These expressions lead us to believe that many factors define existence. You are either a “zero” or “someone”, depending on the way you live your life. To what extent is this true?

Sunt ego vs. distorted ego

Buddhists and lay people say that the “ego” is a source of suffering. Despite the differences between the two streams, they both agree that focusing too much on ourselves does not help us look beyond what lies ahead. This in turn hinders our personal growth and leads to misfortune. Our ego has a huge appetite. And the more you feed it, the more voracious it becomes.

The truth is that even if we can stand out in some things, it is quite impossible to be the best at everything. Feeding your ego will mean that you basically always focus on what you are missing and have not achieved. This will obviously lead to an accident.

Now another likely scenario is someone who has been exposed to harmful environments. For example , being surrounded by people who in some way downplayed, ignored or rejected them. As a result, it is more than natural for them to have low self- esteem, self-esteem and little or no self-love. In such cases, their desire for validation can be extreme.

To want to feel important

Anthropological studies show that some societies only really valued warriors. Others, however, punished men who did not maintain peace. For some, only those who showed signs of severe violence in front of others could be considered “someone”. The rest of them were in turn only “zero”.

That said, should anyone who is peaceful by nature become violent just to feel important? Should warriors by nature have to be peaceful just to be adored by the rest?

This is exactly the trap your ego wants you to fall into. Our desire to feel important can sometimes cause us to deny who we really are. Thus we become someone else so that others approve of us. The question is… is it worth it?

Skin with your own light

In case you did not know, in the famous Oracle of Delphi, you can find one of Socrates’ most famous phrases: “Know yourself”. Knowing oneself thoroughly is an act of self-love that everyone should perform. Remember that knowing oneself is not limited to just making a list of virtues and shortcomings, but understanding who we really are, including our history, fears, strengths and weaknesses.

More than admiration, what we really need is acceptance, support and love. This is not something that comes by itself. We actually sow it by accepting, supporting and appreciating others. Valuing ourselves is what heals our ego and eradicates the desire to stand out at all costs.

Wanting to feel important is an ego trap. It only leads to frustration given that the opinions of others are constantly changing. This admiration some long for does not lead to happiness or true love. It fades quickly. Do not let that fool you.