Together But Not Bound: A Sioux Legend About Relationships

According to an old and beautiful Sioux legend, for a relationship to last and be happy, both members of it should fly together, but not be bound, never enslaved by each other. Because true love does not link us together. It unites two people in a single project without them having to reject their own being, their own identity.

It is strange that the ancient wisdom of the Indians still exists today, and inspires us with stories and legends. Sometimes they are magical, but they always give us a valuable awakening. Somehow the stories continue to be useful and important to us. Out of all this wisdom, the Sioux nation has helped us the most.

We have them to thank for the legend of dream catchers, and also this gem of a fable that teaches us a simple but profound lesson on how to build a stable and happy relationship. Fortunately, we have access to the fascinating book, “American Indian Stories”, by Zitkala-Ša.

This interesting author was the first Sioux Indian to be educated in the West. She was a defender of her country’s traditions, a violinist and above all an activist. It was she, at the beginning of the 20th century, who gave us part of her cultural heritage. She gave us simple and wonderful texts, including this wonderful legend we are going to talk about now.

Love, the individual, and the relationship, according to Sioux

There is an old Sioux legend about a young Sioux couple who went to see the village shaman one morning. They lived near Paha Sapa , now known as the Black Hills, which is sacred to the Sioux nation. The young man was a brave warrior and had honor and nobility in his heart.  Touch the Skies was a woman who had almond-shaped eyes, thick hair, and determination in her heart. But most of all, she had a deep love for the man who was to become her husband.

The reason they decided to meet the shaman was very important: they were afraid. They were afraid that their promise, the devotional love they gave each other, would end up being destroyed. They were also afraid of dying and that they could not find each other in the afterlife. They wanted the old witch doctor to give them a magic potion, a magic formula or an enchantment that would make their love eternal.

The result

The young Sioux girl and her beloved completed the challenge given by the old shaman. She took the falcon in a leather bag. The young warrior carried his eagle with you. The most beautiful, the strongest. When they came to the old shaman, they both asked what the next step would be. ” Sacrificing the birds and bathing each other in their blood, perhaps?”  They asked.

• I want to tell you what to do now: catch the birds and tie your feet with a leather strap. So that they are connected to each other. Then you have to release them so they can fly freely.

When they had completed this, they were astonished and speechless when they saw what was happening. When the two birds tried to fly, all that happened was that they fell, again and again. Frustrated and full of anger, they began to pick on each other.

The old shaman went to the birds and loosened the leather strap. This is the magic formula I will give you: learn from what you just saw. If you bond with each other, even out of love, the only thing you will achieve is that you pull each other down, hurt each other and are unhappy. If you want your love to last, fly as high as you can: together, but not bound. Because true love does not link us together.

The emotional ecological couple: Together but not bound

“Together but not Tethered” by Jaume Soler and Mercè Conangla is another book that is just as interesting. It explores the main idea of ​​the ancient Sioux legend in a perfect way. These authors suggest that we should construct what they call an appropriate “emotional ecology.”

In the complex challenge of establishing a stable, happy, mature and rewarding partnership, we must create a balance in our strengths and spaces to create an environment where you can “be true to yourself and still be true to your relationship.” And we must never lose our identity, our self-love, our  self-confidence and our secret dreams.

To conclude, we must also keep in mind that we can use legends and phrases such as “together but not bound” to all types of relationships. It can be a friendship or even the relationship between parents and children. Because we ultimately have to protect our personal space to preserve the magic of the tape.

This is something that is worth thinking about.