Somatic Emotions In Emotionally Dependent People

If you have ever struggled with anxiety, you are probably well acquainted with the concept of ” somatic emotions “. This is what happens when your body begins to develop physical expressions and symptoms for no apparent reason. There may be a strange feeling in the throat, a sudden rash or problems related to digestion. Today we know that somatic reactions in emotionally dependent people are not only addictive, but also stronger than in other cases.

The problem that arises when you have somatic emotions is your inability to relate what you feel to what is happening in your body. You try to explain away your stomach ache by saying that you have eaten something that was not good. Or you may be trying to blame the sudden onset of eczema on an allergic reaction. The examples are many. It is not uncommon for the affected person to struggle with anxiety and find themselves in a relationship characterized by emotional dependence. If this is the case then your symptoms are probably about much more than food poisoning and allergies.

To better understand why somatic emotions often affect people with an attachment problem, we will tell you Rebecca’s story. This grade can give us a better idea of ​​what a relationship with an unhealthy attachment might look like.

Rebecca’s pathologies

Rebecca had been with her boyfriend for over three years, despite the fact that things were not going particularly well with them. He would always be at home playing video games. Rebekah, on the other hand, wanted to go out more often and do other things. There were several aspects of their relationship that indicated that they did not really fit together very well. But Rebekah had entered into the relationship because she was afraid of being alone. Leaving him was therefore difficult.

In addition, Rebekka did not get along with her boyfriend’s mother. She was a single mother and strongly attached to her son. She called all the time and could even pretend to be sick to get her son’s attention. This was a frequent source of conflict for the couple. Rebekah became angry and they quarreled without help. Things always went back to the way they had been before.

During the third year they were together, strange things began to happen to Rebekah. Occasionally, at the most bizarre moments, she could get an allergic reaction on her face. For example, she could get sudden rashes while being intimate with her boyfriend. At first, Rebekah was not particularly worried. She took antihistamines and did not think much more about the matter.

This is a clear example of how emotions can manifest physically if you have relationships based on an unhealthy attachment. As we pointed out at the very beginning of the article, somatic emotions are a clear sign that something is wrong. If you ignore the symptoms, your body will try other things to catch your attention. This will continue until you become aware of what is happening and change the situation that is causing these reactions. Until this happens, you may experience skin problems, indigestion and general pain.

The moment when everything got much worse

One day when Rebekah was having dinner with her boyfriend’s mother and her friends, she suddenly started having trouble talking. She had a large lump in her throat and it felt like it was about to close. She managed to control the condition that night, but the same thing happened several times in other situations. When she finally went to the doctor, she was told that she had globus pharyngis.

Rebecca did not pay much attention to this problem and ignored the condition in the same way she had ignored the rash before. She continued to turn a deaf ear when she began to have problems with insomnia, intense headaches and nausea. She even started getting severe stomach pains before she was going to meet her boyfriend.

Once, his girlfriend got angry about something to do with his mother. He left and Rebekah did not hear from him for long. When she tried to call him he did not answer and she had no idea where he could be. Rebecca hit the bottom. She was sure he was going to leave her. She started getting unbearable headaches. She lost her appetite and her blood pressure dropped. She had a hard time getting up from the couch because she felt so dizzy. When the boyfriend finally called, most of the symptoms disappeared. She felt so much better that she quickly forgot how bad she had been.

Relationship with attachment problems

Rebecca could not realize that she did not want to be with her boyfriend anymore. She always complained that he had to be home at certain times to play video games. She was also tired of her boyfriend’s mother and that he never set any boundaries for her. She had had enough of always addressing the same issues. She was also angry with herself because at the beginning of the relationship she had never said anything about these things. She had been unconscious and permissive at first, but now everything bothered her.

Deep down, she wanted to end the relationship. It made her exhausted. But she was unable to do so because the fear of being alone was too great. Her inability to make a rational decision therefore began to manifest itself physically. She was in a relationship where she did not thrive. In the end, Rebekah actually left her boyfriend. But she had already aimed for a new person and a new boyfriend as she wanted to avoid being alone at all costs. After a while, she began to experience the same symptoms that she had had with her ex-boyfriend. Except they were a hundred times worse now. The vicious circle kept recurring and the symptoms only got worse.

Somatic emotions and attachment

As the example of Rebekah clearly shows , an inability to grasp the cause of somatic reactions will only lead to them being repeated over and over again, with new people and in other situations. If you are an emotionally dependent person, somatic feelings are a sign that you need to find out what kind of luggage you are carrying. Try to understand what it’s about and do something about it.

For people who have problems with attachment, the somatic feelings can become very serious. It can lead to panic attacks, a variety of health problems and feelings of intense unhappiness. Most people who suffer from this form of attachment problems do not understand what is happening to them. But if they had stopped and taken the time to listen to their bodies and what they were trying to convey, they would have realized that something had to change.

Our goal with the story of Rebekah is not just to teach you to recognize the signs of somatic feelings in others. It is also for you to be able to recognize the symptoms in yourself, so that you can do something about it. If you suspect that your body is trying to send you messages through your emotions, try to be open to what it has to say. You will in all probability discover something valuable.