Some Neighbors Are Worse Than Pulling Teeth
Having bad neighbors is a nightmare that no one wants. With the growing popularity of apartments, townhouses and other common residential areas, neighborhood problems have also been on the rise. And this is not a small problem – in a few cases it even leads to murder.
Some situations are nothing short of a relentless war. There are many possible sources of conflict: a split water-damaged wall, uncomfortably loud music, annoying pets … Every little thing can lead to a confrontation that no one ever knows how to resolve.
Incidents of harassment between neighbors have become so frequent that psychology has even developed a concept for it – blocking. The meaning is similar to bullying – aggression, coercion and emotional intolerance.
Conflict between neighbors
Every little thing can trigger a conflict between neighbors and turn into something big. It is usually a power struggle . Both parties believe that they have the right to impose their will on the other. No one has any intention of compromising – they will win no matter what.
In many condominiums and neighborhoods, people are curious and like to gossip. Groups behave like small factions. Gossip and rumors are circulating and multiplying . “He on the third floor always asks about alcohol, who knows what kind of person he really is.” “I see you-know-who with a new woman every night.” Sharing a building obviously gives people the right to interfere in other people’s lives.
And it’s just a small step to go from gossip to conflict. It is not uncommon for neighbors who disagree to end up accusing each other of damage, vandalism or theft. Finally, the common factor is usually mistrust and suspicion. Forget the idea that a neighbor should be somewhere between an acquaintance and a friend, someone you can expect solidarity from . Forget the idea that problems between neighbors can be solved without declaring open war.
Privacy in shared rooms
Almost no one is lucky enough to choose their neighbors. They come and go by chance. Sure, most neighbors have a few things in common (like living in the same building, belonging to the same social class, having similar habits). However, some people are not happy to see others from a distance . They want to inject into the lives of others and tell them how to live. And some will not tolerate the way other people live.
If someone watches their music at 2 in the morning, it will of course bother the neighbors. But it is not logical to forbid someone to knock a nail into the wall to hang a picture in the middle of the day in their own home. There is no way to silence this, and although it is annoying, it is not serious enough to lead to a war. It also makes no sense for a disagreement to end up with someone else’s pet being poisoned or rubbish being dumped on someone’s stairs.
Although it may seem incredible, this happens every day in many places where people share a wall . It’s not like before, when almost everyone lived in a house, and it was not so easy to bother other people. Today, it is not uncommon for a marital quarrel to have an audience on the other side of the wall. Then the line between private and public life is no longer so clear.
It is easy to feel that your home is being invaded by the eyes, ears and actions of others. It’s disturbing. But at the same time, most of us want to be able to do what we want in our own homes, without being judged. It’s just harder these days, and in some cases completely impossible.
This is certainly a situation that causes friction, which can lead to conflict. But before the situation becomes a living hell, it is best to open a sincere and mature dialogue because this will make the situation less likely to escalate. In any case, before you declare war or move somewhere else, it’s always worth trying to patch things up again.
