6 Tips For Better Communication Between Parents And Children

There is no parenting manual that will work for every single parent in the world. However, there are certain general guidelines that can serve as a compass you can rely on if you want to have a good relationship with your children. These guidelines can also help you in how to talk to them about sensitive topics. Communication between parents and children is extremely important.

In this article, we will give you tips for better communication and more empathy.

We will give you advice on how to actively listen to the children and get them to talk to you.

Do not try to impress, talk to the kids!

When communicating with your children, it is best not to give narrow-minded “that’s the way it is” opinions. This is especially important if the children are not so small anymore. Talk to them, ask questions, encourage shared reflection.

Let’s listen to why they did what they did. Then we can try to get agreements you both agree on. It is true that this requires more, but it is much more likely that these agreements will be followed. As parents, we want to control every situation our children experience. At home, with siblings, friends, grandparents, at school, etc. We believe that if we tell them what to do, even when the situation is already over, they will be obedient and protected if something like this should happen again.

The best way to help children with a conflict is to help them reflect and try to understand why they acted as they did. This will also be good for their relationship, as they will feel that they are listened to and taken into account.

“A man’s character can be learned from the adjectives he usually uses in conversations.”

-Mark Twain-

Talk to them about their own experiences

Communication between parents and children should be two-way and adapted to the child’s age. You may find it very helpful to tell them about your own experiences, both before and now. Tell them how you feel and think. This makes you seem more human and knocks down the invisible wall.

With this form of communication, children will feel closer to you and learn new ways to solve problems. This does not necessarily mean that they will do the same, but it will lay the foundation for more openness and trust on their part. They will trust you enough to tell about what is happening in their lives.

Listen actively and never judge

Listening actively means being empathetic and caring about the feelings behind what is being said. That means you have to put in a little more effort sometimes to break down walls, especially those of uncertainty and indecision. This is why it is important not to use anything they have even told you in confidence towards them. No matter how angry you may be right then.

Being a parent is demanding. One challenge is to open the mind and understand that they see the world in a different way. A perspective that deserves as much respect as your own. You have to accept your child as equal, equal, or even superior in certain discussions as they get older.

By not judging them, you are sending a clear message that you want to listen and that you are willing to accept them. You are willing to accept that they are sad, angry or hurt. Then, when you accept their feelings, you will be able to help them make choices.

“No matter what words we use, they should be chosen carefully. For people will hear them and be touched by them for better or for worse. ”

-Buddha-

We are parents first, then friends

It is important to be open when talking to your children. You want to know what they like and what their interests are… But children need a parent to guide them and set boundaries; they do not need you to be a friend. This is not your role, or at least not your main role.

For your children, as they get older and become teenagers, there will be topics they do not want to venture into with you. It is important that you respect that and be patient with them. Maybe they do not want to talk about it now, but if you keep the door open, they may enter a few days later.

Also, if you keep good lines of communication open and stay close to the children, these topics will be few. Finally, they will come to you if they have an intrusive case. But that being said, it will only happen if you respect your privacy and your independence (depending on age, of course). If not, they will just move away from you in order to protect their rights.

Led by example

Communication between parents and children should be direct and clear. If your children see you talking about them, your family and other personal topics with other people, they will most likely withdraw. They will be afraid that you will share your secrets.

Another good foundation for better communication between parents and children is authenticity. It is important to always try to be honest about what you think, say and feel. It also means keeping the promises and commitments you make.

If you are genuine, your children will most likely come to you even if they know you do not like what they have to say. They will do something amazing: trust that you will find a solution to their problem.

Being honest also means asking for forgiveness and standing up for one’s mistakes. You are their role model. If you do not act with honesty and integrity, they most likely will not do so either.

“Effective communication begins with listening.”

-Robert Gately-

Do not argue with the children about “who is right”

So often, a conversation turns into arguments and quarrels. It is important to avoid this by keeping a cool head and behaving like the adult you are. Use a suitable tone and listen first – no interruptions.

Each of you should explain how you think and what you mean.

Eventually, you will try to reach an agreement. Many times you will not agree with your child or they with you. But you must both be able to express yourself without one feeling inferior.

Remember that you are an adult, but that does not mean that your children do not have their own opinions and reasons to act as they do. Therefore, talking to them without trying to push your own ideas is the best way to create good communication. Plus you will also make them feel valued and heard.

Some recent tips to get better communication between parents and children

Here are some recent suggestions. Work with these and lay the foundation for the communication method based on trust.

• Ask them what they need when they want to talk to you. Do they want advice or help to solve a problem? Or do they simply want you to listen to them?
• Speak positively. Talk about their attitudes, not them in person. Say ” I do not like what you did” or “maybe you could have done it differently” instead of ” you are wrong.”
• Let them make mistakes. You will not be able to keep them from making mistakes and many times those experiences will teach them something.
• Be clear when giving them information. Be consistent and do not contradict yourself, so they understand what you are asking them and there will be no confusion.

• Include them in decisions that will affect the family.

Communication is the foundation of any relationship. Indirectly, it is a crucial factor in fundamental values, such as trust and sincerity. This is precisely why we say that communication between parents and children is worth both time and thought.