Self-esteem And Ego: 7 Differences

Some people still believe that self-esteem and ego are one and the same. It makes a lot of sense if you think about how we are taught from a young age to take care of others before we take care of ourselves. Even as adults, if you take care of yourself, people may label you as egocentric and selfish.

But what happens when we confuse self-esteem and ego? We end up putting the needs of others before our own. We also seek external approval and feel guilty when we want to say “no”, instead we feel obligated to say “yes” so that we do not seem selfish.

The biggest consequence of this confusion is that we are disconnected from our needs. We forget to listen to ourselves and as a result, we do not value ourselves as we should. Because of all this, today we will look at 7 differences between self-esteem and ego.

1. Admiration for oneself

People with big egos love too much. It becomes so extreme that they develop narcissistic qualities and see the world through a distorted lens. The big problem with such people is that they think they are better than other people. They consider themselves perfect, and everything they do is perfect.

On the other hand, people with high self-esteem value themselves, but realistically. They are aware of their virtues, but also their shortcomings. They do not try to hide them and pretend to be something else. On the contrary, they accept them. If they encounter problems or difficulties due to their mistakes, they try to find a solution.

2. Worry about yourself and others

You can see the difference between self-esteem and ego very clearly in this second point. Selfish people are always worried about themselves and never think about others. They must be the center of attention and all eyes must be on them. If it does not happen, if they feel ignored and react with anger.

Meanwhile, people with a healthy self-esteem think of themselves and others. Therefore, unlike selfish people, they know how to listen and they do not try to be the center of attention all the time. Someone with good self-esteem has empathy and more rewarding relationships.

3. Look past your own convictions

When we interact with people with big egos, the first thing we see is that they can not see beyond their convictions. You can not expect them to ask questions or reflect on their views. They think their perspective is the only right one. This leads to a lot of conflict with other people.

People with a healthy self-esteem, on the other hand, are able to look beyond their own views. They know that their perspective is not the only one and they understand that other people have different ideas.

They may also be interested in other ideas. That they know how to listen and put themselves in other people’s shoes means that they have healthier relationships. They are able to absorb new ideas, and the result is easier interaction.

As you can see, a clear difference between self-esteem and ego is that a big ego prevents you from feeling empathy. Selfish people simply cannot put themselves in the shoes of others.

Doing so requires strong and healthy self-esteem. In fact, people with big egos do not respect or know themselves. They cover up and hide what they do not like. That is why it is so difficult for them to see outside their own little world.

4. Difficulty accepting criticism

People with a big ego can not stand to hear criticism. Why? They take it as an attack on the distorted and exaggerated idea they have of themselves. Since they hide their weaknesses behind this false greatness, anything that threatens to expose them makes them defensive. They get angry and blame other people.

Those with healthy self-esteem are able to acknowledge their mistakes. They can take criticism, and they use it to become better people. They will not take criticism as something negative. Rather, they value it when it is constructive.

5. Expect something in return

We already know that selfish people always think of themselves. So, if they are looking for help or seem to be interested in something, it is because they can benefit from it in some way. If there is nothing in it for them, selfish people will not pay attention to other people.

People with good self-esteem do not act like that. They do not use other people as a means to an end. Rather, they know that they have the chance to learn and grow through any interaction. People with good self-esteem never act out of pure self-interest.

6. Hierarchy, not equality

Another big difference between selfish people and people with healthy self-esteem is a sense of superiority. People with big egos think they are above everyone else. They may think, for example, that they are stronger, more intelligent or more beautiful than other people. They also believe that the world is about them.

In contrast  , people with good self-esteem know that no one is better than anyone else, just different. Thus, they do not make comparisons.

7. To give to others, you must first give to yourself

The last difference between self-esteem and ego is the idea of ​​taking care of the needs of others before their own. However, it is important to remember that you can not give what you do not have.

Those who have big egos can not love in a healthy way, nor can they meet other people’s needs if they have not taken care of their own first. Their life is to try to pretend, explain and think that they are better than others…

It does not happen with people with healthy self-esteem. They respect, accept, value and love themselves. As a result, they are able to have satisfactory, fruitful conditions. They are not selfish; they learn what they need so that they can give it to others.

All of us have acted selfishly at one time or another. Identifying it instead of denying it, and dealing with that fact, will help us realize if we are dealing with hidden self-esteem issues. Do you think that is enough? What makes you feel insecure? Why do you want people to be aware of you? Think about it. You can not have a big ego and a healthy self-esteem at the same time.