The Psychology Of Connection: The Art Of Connecting With People From The Heart

The psychology of connection tells us that being with people is not the same as having a “connection” with them.

In fact, few states of mind are more important than those that lead to this type of magnetism. The feeling of the shared heartbeat, the deep, yet strange harmony where the best friendship in our lives begins. Or the love of our lives.

Maybe you’re surprised. Is it really a “psychology of connection”? Well, it happens in many areas of psychology, it is common for work in one area to be used in others.

When it comes to the psychology of the connection, we should mention that it comes from the business world, especially marketing. Commercial companies and executives in large companies want to know what the underlying process is, what makes consumers feel a greater “connection” or attraction to one product and not another.

Sometimes our purchasing decisions are controlled by such unconscious, complex and unexplained processes that even neuro-marketing experts cannot figure out.

So, this scientific approach – which develops over a decade – provides interesting statistics and material that researchers and personality psychologists took and moved from the marketing sector to a separate branch.

It is fascinating and quite revealing what they discovered. They are processes that bring together neuroscience, study of the brain and emotions. These are the areas that form what we know today as the psychology of deep connection.

Keys to the psychology of the connection

We said at the beginning that getting along with someone is not the same as having a connection with them. It is something we all experience every day.

In our daily environments, which can be our jobs, schools, neighborhoods or recreation rooms, we meet a lot of people. We coexist with them all. But in the course of our lives, we only manage to have a deep “connection” with a few.

Judith E. Glaser, an organization psychologist and anthropologist at Harvard University, is one of the most cited researchers in the study and application of what we call “deep connection” .

Something she explains to us in many of her books and other works is that we have an inner voice that tells us if something or someone can be significant to us.

This thing we call “intuition” actually has a specific place in our brain. We will now look at some keys…

Deep connection: When our brain “lights up”

Our brain is a unit governed by a number of very basic needs. Sociability is one of them. So when we meet people in our daily lives, so to speak, our brain “lights up”. One of the first areas to respond is the medial prefrontal forehead lobe.

But there is another much deeper, more mysterious and fascinating part that lights up like a Christmas tree.

This is when we meet someone we have a more intense connection with. This area can be found exactly where the tin patch and the ice patch meet.

Neuroscientists tell us that this is where our judgments unfold. This is where our most abstract, most complex and sometimes most inexplicable cognitive processes occur.

Processes that govern the psychology of the connection

We have all heard about how it sometimes takes just a glance to create a connection with someone. We should say that this little treat is a half-truth, and it is not really at the heart of what we think of as a “deep connection”.

True experts in the field indicate that this intimate and revealing bond crosses many more boundaries.

• Deep connection goes beyond the simple “gaze” because it stems from interaction and behavior. But it happens especially through an important, magical word: “sharing”.
• When we share intimacy with someone, when we tell them secrets, share values ​​and passions with them, our brain releases oxytocin.

Neuropsychologists explain that oxytocin is the neurotransmitter that is an important ingredient when we create these important connections with our best friends or partners.

By inviting these significant people to this very private, deep part of the brain, we feel safe, comfortable and proud … but above all, happy.

To conclude, while it is not so easy to build this kind of connection, these magical, strong relationships, let us not give up hope.

We only need to use three simple factors in our daily interactions: closeness, trust and sincerity.

The results will come in time, and when that happens we will know. Your brain and heart will respond intensely to this special person.