Your Skin Never Gets Alzheimer’s: It Remembers Caresses And Scars Forever

There is a general, false belief that people with Alzheimer’s or other types of dementia usually disconnect from the outside world and enter their own, distant, unreal inner world. But that is not true. And by thinking that people with Alzheimer’s are no longer what they used to be, they lose their identity in the eyes of society, and their feelings almost automatically lose all their value.

If you put yourself in the shoes of those with dementia, you will realize that it is normal for them to feel scared around everyone else’s endurance, and not know how to express what they feel or need. They may not understand what people are saying to them, they may not recognize the people around them every day, and they may not know what people expect of them at all times.

We rarely get into the skin of people with Alzheimer’s. But if you do, you will realize how frightening and disruptive daily life can be for them. And then you will really understand anxiety or other emotional reactions that you see as exaggerated from your ” healthy ” perspective.

Validation method: person-centered therapy

Over the past decade, there has been a return in person-centered models for care and communication. These therapeutic, relational models say it is important for people with Alzheimer’s to have validation and stimulating environments.

It is trying to empathize with people with dementia, maintain their identity and form an understanding attitude towards “changed behavior” that makes caregivers and people around them so uncomfortable.

The researchers who promote this model of care emphasize the need to uphold the basic dignity of all human beings. This is why you need to use empathy to understand the inner realities of those with dementia.

The goal is to be able to give them security and strength. That way, they will feel validated and able to express their thoughts. Only when someone can begin to express themselves again do they regain their dignity.

Why? Because validating them means recognizing their feelings. It means telling them that their feelings are right. If you reject these feelings, you reject the person and destroy your identity. And by doing so, you create a huge emotional hole.

Basic principles of the validation method

Let’s look at some of the basic principles of this method:

• Accept the person without judging them (Carl Rogers).

• Treat them like a unique person (Abraham Maslow).
• Any emotions they express that are so recognized and validated by someone they trust will lose some strength. When we ignore or reject these feelings, they become stronger. “A neglected cat will turn into a tiger” (Carl Jung).
• All people are valuable, no matter how disoriented they are (Naomi Error).
• When their last memory fails, we can rebalance them by restoring short-term memories. When their vision goes, they will use the mind to see. And when their hearing goes, they will listen to sounds from the past (Wiler Penfield).

People with Alzheimer’s or other types of dementia need to reconnect with the world

The Disney-Pixar movie, Coco, has a very good, emotional example of how to reconnect with people with Alzheimer’s, how to turn to their skin, to their deepest feelings. This happens in the scene with “Forget Me Not”, a song that gives a wonderful tenderness to the emotional connection it creates.

The fact that someone loses their ability to verbally express things does not mean that they do not need it. That is why it is so important to take into account the needs of people with these conditions. We need to connect with their moods and dive into the exact same emotions.

As Concetta M. Tomaino (2000) said, “it is always surprising to see someone who is completely closed and distant from the world due to an illness that Alzheimer’s comes back to life when someone plays a song known to them. Their response can range from a slight change in attitude to excited movement. It can even go from sounds to actual verbal answers. ”

And there is almost always an answer, an interaction. A lot of the time, these answers seem bad. But they can tell you a lot about how people always keep the small parts of themselves. It is also a good reminder that they can still bring their personal stories to life in their minds.