The Importance Of Being Coherent

Being coherent is when people do their best to be consistent at all times. One of people’s main needs is to make sure that there is a connection between what they say and do and between what they have learned and what immediate circumstances require. People do not always make it happen, which can lead to unrest.

Carl Rogers, a psychologist in the field of humanism, was one of the first people to dive deep into the principle of coherence. In 1950, he defined it as an alliance between experience and consciousness.

At a basic level, it is the result of everything you have experienced and what you have learned from it. This allows you to act in a consistent way when it comes to your values, feelings and desires.

Rogers was keen to delve deeper into this topic for a good reason. One thing that many therapists witness is incoherence. In other words, the clear difference between what you need and what you do for yourself.

Many people seek help because they feel they have gone too far from their “ideal self.” Their reality has lost meaning because they can see a clear difference between what they want and what they do, as well as between what they feel and what they receive.

If you are not coherent, unrest and suffering will appear. Unfortunately, this is a common reality that is worth investigating.

Being coherent can be the root of problems sometimes

Author and psychologist Robert B. Cialdini from the University of Arizona studied a lot of context. One of his most famous books is Pre-Suasion: A Revolutionary Method to Influence and Persuade . In this book, he went deeper into this theory to give readers a new and interesting focus.

The nuisance that Dr. Cialdini introduces is this: Sometimes, in an attempt to be coherent, you find yourself in conflicting situations that become problematic. For example, if you define yourself as environmentally conscious and are strongly dedicated to caring for the environment, then it is not coherent to continue to use energy sources as pollutants.

Many people are subject to social sanctions to defend certain situations, but not to be coherent with others. This becomes even more complicated if you want to inspire others. If your desire is to get through to others through your values ​​and behaviors, then this can be problematic.

What can you do in these situations? Are you not as coherent as you thought?

The concept of being coherent with a little dissonance

There are some cases where you just can not be 100% coherent. You usually do not like discussions and deviations that occur when you are dealing with them. For example, it is possible to defend political ideas and have a partner who defends the opposite side. It is possible that someone loves children, but decides not to have one themselves.

When it comes to these apparent discrepancies, there are certain facts to keep in mind:

• You can really be coherent even in the face of apparent daily inconsistencies. After all, as Carl Rogers points out, the idea of ​​coherence is every person’s conscience.
• For example, if you do not experience dissonance and your perception is still a consensus between what you say and do, there is no problem. After all, the environment is incredibly complex. This means that you simply have to deal with every stimulus, person, circumstance and unexpected experience as best you can.
• An inner balance is always the most important element in being coherent. There will always be situations that threaten your principles. These are the ones you respond to with conviction to defend your coherence. Other times you are forced to give small permits because the benefits are important and you want to maintain homeostasis. An example is having a partner with ideas other than you and that you are happy with.

In the face of pressure, be coherent; it is a matter of bravery

You know that there are times when your thoughts and behaviors do not align with each other. Sometimes this dissonance can happen without any significant consequences.

The most harmful effects occur when there is constant dissonance. Carl Rogers relates it to the theories of “I”, one of his most important contributions.

• When you are consistently incoherent, you create a great distance between the ideal self and the perceived self.
• The same lack of coherence ends up generating mental strategies where you force yourself to find balance without success. For example, you create cognitive dissonance, which are internal conflicts that arise when you have conflicting ideas. This usually ends up leading you to justify something that goes against your values ​​to reduce your own psychological disorder.

• You resort to complex defense mechanisms to convey these contradictions. These are completely useless strategies because they simply translate into a higher level of frustration and anxiety.

If you want to guarantee your mental well-being, then it is important to try your best to be coherent. Doing so is a brave daily act.

This healthy training where you are and act through the values ​​at all times can be complicated, but it guarantees that your self-esteem will stay in good shape.