Can You Ever Be Too Trusting?

Has anyone ever accused you of being too trusting? Many people are under the impression that it is a bad thing to trust other people. But are others allowed to call you “naive” for trusting people? The answer is “not always”. Offering and expecting trust is not a mistake. People who lie and mislead people are the ones who really deserve the blame.

Can you be too trusting?

Laozi said those who do not have enough trust will not be worthy of the trust of others. To a certain extent, everyone has to trust other people if they want to feel good in this world. Without trust, you would live in a world of permanent anxiety. Without trust, no one would ever get behind the wheel of a car, take public transportation or let their children go to school.

A significant part of our culture and civilization is based on the principle of trust. Even if you take it for granted most days, it is the basis of much of what you do. Meeting other people, reducing fear and insecurity in your relationships, etc. Trust is basically a daily leap of faith that you do with your eyes closed and an open heart.

That’s why it can be so painful when you have a bad experience and someone blames you for being too trusting. Not only do you have to deal with your disappointment, but you begin to doubt yourself and your actions. ” Was I too naive ?”, ” Did they put on blinders ?”, ” Should I have been more cynical?”

The power of emotion

You could say that the word “trust” is one of the most beautiful words there is. This term defines human capacity to establish relationships based on security and other people’s love. In the same way, trust also involves action. You dare to relate to other people without fear or worry.

That said, there is some interesting research out there about trust in our society. According to psychologist Joe Bavonese of the Relationship Institute in Royal Oak, Michigan, people have become less trusting in the last ten years.

One factor that explains this phenomenon is the technological advances in recent years. New technology gives you access to a huge amount of information and also makes it possible to meet many more people. However, none of these dimensions are 100% reliable.

It seems that living in such uncertain times can affect your relationships. Things are financially, socially and politically unstable, so it makes sense that you want to be a little more vigilant and a little more careful. Still, many people may seem overconfident. But what does that mean exactly? What are the boundaries? Where do you set the limit?

Emotional trust and cognitive trust

When you build trust, you do it through two very concrete dimensions:

• The first is emotional trust that lives off emotions. It’s the intuitive feeling when you decide that someone is worthy of trust because your heart tells you so and because you feel good about them.
• Cognitive trust. This is when you add judgment, thoughts and beliefs to the emotional dimension that is already present. This is a more practical and objective evaluation process that considers the reasons why you should trust someone or not.

As a study by Jennifer Dunn at the University of California explains, people who are too trusting can often lean too heavily on the emotional dimension. Your prejudices do not always reflect reality. Maybe you limit yourself to listening to your feelings and are not able to consider other more objective factors.

You can almost never be too trusting

Trusting other people is almost never a mistake. Do not forget that your brain is a social organ, designed to connect and build relationships that are essential for survival. Trust is a fundamental part of being human. That is why disappointment, betrayal and lies can be so traumatic.

That said, there are some situations where you may be too confident. Let’s see what they are.

When you do not include previous experience in the calculation

Trusting someone after they have disappointed you several times is a mistake.

Experience is the best advisor. Consequently, no one should be too hard on themselves if they make a mistake. To live life means to stumble and fall and put your trust in the wrong people. That said, when these things happen, you should always reflect and learn what you can from the situation. Stumbling over the same cliff over and over again is not good for anyone.

When you forget that it’s okay to be picky about your relationships

Being overconfident sometimes means exposing oneself to potential harm. Therefore, it is okay to be picky when choosing friends and partners.

To do this, it is useful to remember the three principles of trust:

• Trust is knowing that you deserve support and help when you need it or ask for it.
• Trust is being able to share your thoughts without being judged or betrayed.
• Finally, trust is knowing that the other person will not hurt you.

Finally, we all need to be able to trust other people. Without the daily support, life would be too difficult. So try your best to be the kind of person that others can trust and make sure the ones you choose to trust are worthy.