Avoiding Personality Disorder: Social Isolation As A Place Of Refuge

Avoidant personality disorder affects 3% of the population. It describes sensitive, careful people who live locked up in their lonely shells. They are afraid of being hurt, convicted or rejected.

They have an extreme desire to escape, and they are unable to process their fear and anxiety for life. So, they end up building walls in their own fortress where they want to hide.

This disorder was defined in the early 20th century by psychiatrists and eugenics  Bleuler and Kretschmer. But it is not very well known. Not as much as , or depending on, a personality disorder, for example.

Historians and experts on this mental condition provide the same example. They say the best example of avoidant personality disorder is Emily Dickinson.

Dr. Laurencie Miller explains it a bit in her book, “From Difficult to Disturbed”. The renowned poet gradually moved away from the world until she retreated completely into her room.

Many of her verses, such as “ but the morning – did not want me – now – so – goodnight – day! ”Reflects this isolation.

They show her in the shadow of her own little world facing the discomfort she felt from a society she did not feel part of. How many of her relationships offered her more disappointment than joy.

We know that a person can develop this elusive tendency little by little until it leads to a psychotic breakdown that often requires being admitted to a psychiatric ward.

Psychiatrists define these people and the behavior towards isolation as “shrinkers”. And, while it may seem strange, it seems that the trend is becoming more and more rare in today’s world.

Characteristics of people with avoidant personality disorder

There was a time when people believed that a discovery based on criticism, humiliation and contempt inevitably led to avoidable personality disorder.

But now when it comes to any kind of clinical disorder, we know that “2 plus 2 is never 4.” In other words, everyone reacts differently to the same circumstances.

And in the universe of personality disorders, there are many conditioning factors. There are several associated disorders, and extremely complex dysfunctional thoughts.

In addition  , the current DSM-V defines avoidant personality disorder as a form of social anxiety. In this case, self-esteem is so low that the person begins to lose their social abilities completely.

It goes all the way to the point where they prefer insulation. But the most complex thing about all this is that their situations are in conflict with their desires.

That is, all their values, dreams, needs and identity are in constant, unpleasant chaos. The mental exhaustion that comes as a result is enormous.

But people with avoidant personality disorder know very well what to do to improve their situation. Because they are usually very intelligent people.

But just the idea of ​​confronting their fears, phobias and thoughts, gives great anxiety. So they prefer to make excuses, procrastinate, and leave the solution to the panic they feel today until tomorrow.

Characteristics of people with avoidant personality disorder

• The feeling that no matter what they do, they will always be rejected, criticized and pushed away.
• An exaggerated level of self-criticism. They see themselves as completely incompetent people in any context. It is common for them to say things to themselves, such as ” I was not created for this world.”
• They tend to present an excessive level of dysphoria. This means that they combine sadness with anxiety.
• They use an exaggerated “arsenal” of dysfunctional thoughts. “It is better not to do anything than to try and fail.” “People are always critical. They love to humble everyone, and they are indifferent to the needs of others… ”
• On top of social avoidance, they also practice three other types. They engage in cognitive, behavioral, and emotional avoidance. Especially not thinking, not doing, and not treating emotions. That way, I do not have to confront what makes me so scared, as I myself cause.

Also, what causes these behaviors is the amplification of the cycle that keeps the anxiety alive. So, little by little, to protect themselves from negative emotions, these people choose isolation.

Treatment of avoidant personality disorder

A therapeutic relationship with someone who suffers from avoidant personality disorder is often long and useless. This is true for a number of reasons.

The first is that they tend to believe that professionals will not understand their inner world. They think they will be rejected for their thoughts, ideas and needs.

Once the psychotherapist has gained confidence and builds a strong bond, we can see progress. But if that trust is never shown, it is unlikely that we will see any progress that will strengthen the patient’s hope.

Things a person with an unnecessary personality disorder needs to work on are these:

• Reformulate dysfunctional framework conditions.
• Work with their automatic thoughts and cognitive distortions.
• Explore the origins of their avoidant behavior.
• Think back on experiences that cause discomfort.
• Strengthen social habits that can help them in their daily lives.
• Make a progress chart and get better with their avoidant behavior.
• Improve their social skills through group therapy.
• Improve their self-esteem.

As you can see, there are several strategies a professional can use with these patients. We are looking at a type of disorder where certain types of therapy may be helpful.

Cognitive behavioral, rational-emotional and psychodynamic therapies, as well as systematic desensitization are particularly useful.