What Factors Influence Attachment In Adopted Children?

Why is it important to talk about attachment in adopted children? Because all adopted children go through certain experiences in the first years of life that can complicate their development – experiences that other children do not have to deal with.

These experiences can lead to worrying behavior in adopted children. Some are too dependent on their parents, while others become emotionally distant. Keep reading to learn some possible reasons why.

What are the variables that affect attachment patterns in adopted children?

Adopted children often go through difficult situations unusual for their age before living with their new family. Some of these situations play an important role in the development of attachment.

For example, children are less likely to develop a secure attachment with their adoptive parents if they have experienced abuse or neglect in their biological family, orphanage, or foster family.

In the first years of life , children need adults around them who will respond effectively to their need for support and closeness. If the caregiver ignores the child or responds aggressively, the child will become suspicious and afraid of the person who should make them feel safe, which will affect their future relationship.

The same thing happens when children are institutionalized for a long time. Today, there are many guidelines to prevent orphanages from abusing children. But that does not mean that they can meet their many emotional and psychological needs, which are so critical at this age. This has a direct effect on attachment in adopted children.

Even when cared for physically, there tends to be only one caregiver for many children. Thus, the caregiver has trouble caring for them emotionally.

What can adoptive parents do to encourage a secure connection?

Even if adoptive parents do not have control over these early experiences, is there anything they can do to ensure the proper social and emotional development of their children? Of course. Parents’ behavior and personalities play an important role in the development of attachment.

Among the variables that encourage a secure attachment in adopted children are:

• emotional stability
• stress tolerance
• flexibility
• appropriate expression of love

In other words , adoptive parents should be mature and have secure attachment patterns themselves. That way, they can educate their children by leading by example.

Adoptive parents should also have the resources to face adversity, positively regulate their negative emotions, and ask for help when they need it. When they ask for help, they should never feel that they are inferior parents because of it . Being open to asking for help shows their children the importance of dealing with one’s emotions.

This will also help them understand and connect with the adopted child. This is so important because many adopted children feel guilty, insignificant and abandoned. If they can change perspective, they develop a more secure connection.

Photos courtesy of Rene Bernal, Larm Rmah and Ben White.